The Way To Happiness收录于2007-08-06
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I often hear people complain about how long it takes to get a response to e-mail. Sometimes, to be sure, it is because the recipient is inept. The sender’s request languishes in the recipient’s overflowing inbox.
But sometimes, the request itself is the problem. Here’s what you can do on your end to insure a faster response:
- Put the person’s name in the TO field. The CC field won’t cut it. If you expect someone to respond, make sure you have addressed the e-mail to them. I get so many e-mails now that I have set up an e-mail rule to filter out messages on which I am only CC’d. I automatically assume that these are “for information only.” This automated rule moves messages to my “CC” folder and marks them as read, so they don’t continue to distract me. I only go through this folder once a week or so.
- Limit your message to one subject. Good managers practice David Allen’s “two-minute rule” when it comes to processing e-mail. This rule says, “if you can do the action requested in the e-mail in two minutes or less, do it now. If not, put it on your task list for later.” The key then is to make it easy for the recipient to respond now. If you clutter up your e-mail message with several subjects, it makes it easier for the recipient to procrastinate. So it is preferable to send multiple e-mails, each with a discreet subject, than send one e-mail with multiple subjects.
- Tell them what you need in the first sentence. Don’t make the recipient wade through a long e-mail to get to the request. Put it at the top of the message and then let them decide if they need more information. For example, the other day, I got an interview request. The sender went on and on about their magazine—the company’s history, the market demographics, the circulation, etc. I had no idea why this information was relevant to me and almost deleted it. Then, after two pages of information, they asked me for the interview. Don’t make this mistake. Get to the point.
- Keep the message short. Again, remember the two-minute rule. If it takes longer than two minutes for the recipient to read your message, it will likely get set aside. In fact, they may never get back to it! So, keep it short. I like the advice some people are now giving: keep your message to five sentences or less. If it takes more than this, you should seriously consider another method of communication (e.g. a phone call, meeting, formal report, etc.)
- Tell them if your request is urgent or time-sensitive. People need help prioritizing. Most people want to be helpful. If you tell them it is urgent, they will try to comply. But—and be warned—if you do this too often, they will start ignoring you. If a request is time-sensitive but not urgent (e.g., I don’t need it now, but I do need it by the end of the week), I state exactly when I need it. I then track the request in my task management system, so I can be sure to follow-up.
These suggestions won’t work with people who are truly incompetent. But if you follow these recommendations, at least you will know you have done everything you can on your end.
Healthy relationships are maintained through proper communication. Ever lost track of a friend just because you don’t see or talk to each other anymore? While highly unlikely to happen with family members, since you’re all under one roof, lack of communication can put a strain. Some family members may feel neglected, underappreciated or even unloved. And one way to keep lines open is to listen.
Carry a civil tone. Always carrying a bossy and intimidating tone with your kids may establish your authority but chances are you’d get control through fear. So better carry a lighter tone.
Make your home a sanctuary. You may have had a tough day at work and you have that murderous plans for your boss. Don’t take it out on your kids or spouse. Your day maybe frustrating but remember that your home shouldn’t be a home for those frustrations. Try to change your pace as soon as you step on through your door.
Don’t make conversations a highlighted activity. Forget those recommended talk-time sessions you’ve seen on TV. You might just find it a little too awkward to handle. Instead, try to talk through small-talk. Converse while doing chores, out shopping, in the car - just about any opportunity you have together.
Listen. Plainly hearing things is not listening. Listening entails paying attention to every detail - the words, the tone, even the non-verbal cues. 60% of the message lies in the way the person looks at you, the position of their hands, the way the foot fidgets. And when you listen, listen sympathetically. It creates that “caring” feeling between you.
Stress, stress and more stress. The problem with our lives today is that we’re always under stress. And stress kills. Slowly. One way to save ourselves is to start getting rid of the things that compound our stress levels. However, since you can’t dispose of your job our your idiot boss, you can start by kicking some of those bad habits down the drain and start detoxifying yourself. Here are some ideas.
No booze and death sticks. If you smoke (even a little) and drink (a lot), it’s a great time to stop them. Every cigarette you puff is some time off your life clock. Quitting smoking is not an easy task but you can always get help. As for drinking, excessive drinking can damage your liver. So try laying off some bottles next weekend and give your liver a break.
Drink lots of water. Water improves digestion. Water naturally flushes out toxins from your body. So if you want a good purge of those nasties inside you, water is probably one of the safest ways to go.
Pick up a sport. Unless you were a total dork as a kid, you probably had engaged in some sort of sporting activity. If it has been years since you shot some hoops, try picking up the sport again. Sweat those toxins and stress out. If you’ve been that dorky kid, it’s not too late to get a sport. Peel your but off that computer screen and try walking.
No computers for a day. This is a toughie for us geeks but it’s a great way to rest those tired eyes, hands and mouse clickers. Try this one during a weekend - no computers! No checking of mail, surfing, blogging, gaming, or take-home work. Avoid exposing yourself to radiation for once.
Take an outdoor trip. A change of scenery can effectively detox your mind. Be one with nature for once. Plan a hiking trip one of these days. Go to the beach. Soak up some sun. Enjoy the summer.
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